
From
Eye of the StormMark Heard
In the gaze of the spotlight's eye
A long way from home
Still nauseous from a turbulent sky
Up on the stage alone
The live end of a microphone
Point-blank to my soul
I'm trying hard
To keep my self-control
I want to go home
I wish that this night would end
I've got to go on
And shoot from the heart again
Somebody came for the rock n' roll
Somebody came for a smile
Somebody came for a sermon in song
Or something to call worthwhile
The expectations of who-knows-who
Examining my soul
Unknown faces expecting me to play some role
And oh, I want to go home
I wish that this night would end
But I've got to go on
And shoot from the heart again
I don't have no magical words
No pockets full of spiritual jewels
I only know about the way things are
In light of the simple truth
I don't know which hearts are breaking
Or whose flags are truly unfurled
Between here and heaven and the outside world
And oh, I want to go home
I wish that this night would end
But I've got to go on
And shoot from the heart again
from the
Mark Heard Lyric Project For the first installment of "Song of the Day" I've chosen this Mark Heard tune from the album
Eye of the Storm.
Eye was a sort of contractual obligation record which Heard discounted at the time. He claimed to have whipped these songs up to get the album to Chris Christian at Home Sweet Home records. Mark was more interested in the electric sound he was would use on
Ashes and Light and
Mosaics, while Christian was looking for what would sell best. In spite of Heard's approach to its writing, the album holds up well. It's a testimony to his writing abilities that even these "throw-away" songs are full of depth and insight.
This song is sort of the acoustic version of "One Night Stand" from
Stop the Dominoes. "
One Night Stand" pokes fun at Mark's touring schedule and at himself, while this one is a little more melancholy. And melancholy was what Heard did best, probably because he struggled with depression his whole life. (As a friend once noted, "After listening for a while, you just want the guy to take some Prozac!")
Mark's conflicted feelings are evident in the chorus: "I want to go home" and "I've got to go on" are the two strains woven into his career. Intensely private, and yet choosing to have the fans "examining" his soul nightly, Heard must have often dreaded getting on stage. The various (sometimes conflicting) expectations of the Christian audience are also clear from that second verse: What is the "Christian" concert for? a sermon? rock 'n' roll?
The last verse is really great as a distillation of Heard's approach to his work. He wasn't going to offer the kind of "I've got it all together" image that so many other artists were cultivating at the time. And he questions his audience's sincerity as well: "...whose flags are truly unfurled?" Are these people coming to hear me sing really living like Christians? What happens when we all get outside this Christian concert bubble and into the "outside world?"